The last couple years the hubs has been out of town for most of the month of December. Thanks to kindly Mr. Amazon and his free 2-day shipping, being a single mom at Christmastime hasn’t created too much of a problem.
Except, of course, for the stress. Luke left this week for his second trip of the month and everything was going well the first day, until about bedtime (sound familiar??). I was trying to get my littlest ones to bed and my big boys kept running upstairs. I yelled one too many times, they yelled back and then, out of nowhere I found myself sobbing in their room, telling them how hard it is being a single parent, even part-time.
Whoa…don’t even know where that came from. Get a grip, crazy lady.
It must have made an impact though, since when I calmed down enough to come back a little while later, Liam was still visibly upset. I suggested that we needed to make some changes around the house in regards to our relationships and I asked each boy what they thought needed to change. Toby said something about Mom being nicer (haha! typical) but Liam just sobbed, “No one needs to make any changes…just ME! It’s all my fault!”
Wow. It broke my heart to hear my sweet boy blame himself for my shortcomings. He even added that this wasn’t shaping up to be a very good Christmas. Luckily, it humbled me enough to have a heart to heart with him.
We talked about the reason for celebrating Christ’s birth and how Christmas isn’t simply a chance to remember the day Jesus was born but to celebrate His entire life, especially His sacrifice for us. We discussed how Christ sacrificed for our sins, but just as importantly, He also paid for our small, daily mistakes. Jesus made it possible for us to overcome any action, big or small that separates us from God, including when we lose control, yell or treat others unkindly. Christmastime is a chance for us to remember that because of Him, we have reason to hope to improve every single day and reason to experience JOY.
I’m thankful that my little boy reminded me of this, the greatest truth in the history of the world.
“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5